Session 17 of Mutant Year 0, a game where you are a mutant trying to survive after the world’s apocalypse.
Marla, Triston, Novgar, and Lord Christian
We met the Hell Drivers, which are a group of miscreints, led by Petral, with her #1 guy a slaver we had met before. Someone named Skid Mark got kilted because he threw a rock or something, I was just thinking about how to take turn 4 at Koopa’s Castle and Luigi spinning me out.
We also found out from smarties that Daddy is still alive, but still asleep, because he full of that stuff that Atari and myself like to eat. We like to eat it because, well it tastes really good and yummy to my tummy. I wonder if this is why I don’t have any lips? It may be why I don’t have any eyelids either? Maybe I should stop eating it, because I don’t have a nose either, but it tastes so numm numm.
The new guy, Mr. I’m so high and mighty, I think his name is Kissthem or something like that, has a bunch of girlfriends that follow him. I bet he can’t take turn 7 at Luigi’s Palace when its raining, like I can. I like him though, he talks funny.
We came across my best friend Donny, who talks funny like he has something wrong with his tongue, who had been beated up. Loser Larry took him out, like that time I was winning the Princess 500 and Koopa turned around and spit that fire in my face and I crashed and then missed that speed arrow, hitting the wall then the oil slick. Come to think about it, that looks like what happened to Donny, his face must have hit the wall. Oh yeah, Larry knows almost where we are, cause Donny somewhat told him, cause his face was hurting real bad, like Dandy Ravage got ahold of him.
Lord Kissthem made this lady’s belly real big, probably gas or something like that, and they are going to help her release it at the bridge.
My boy Frogger is off the chain! I mean he has this thing where he gets stuff for stuff, has this awesome gun that clicks and pows, and is so like awesome! He says this mean Samsquatch keeps beating people up though, may need to talk to Samsquatch about joining the ZWF, it could be awesome!
The elder guy died, that was really sad. It was more sad than the time that I was winning that race and my tire blowed out, I hit the wall, flipped and Toadstool’s face was fried in the oil stuff. I still wonder why Atari laughed at that, it was so mean of him.
Marla and Trist then decided to go swimming in the milk stuff, then they came out a bit cleaner. I don’t know why they wanted to go swimming, but they didded.
Mr. Canteberry, Canterbery, Kantabury, I’m going to call him Mr. C, cause it is just easier that way. He got a new body, cause he was smoking or something, which is real bad, it usually means a tire is going flat or your engine is burning oil and you are about to have a short race. Maybe he was racing, but I think he was out back smoking that rubber stuff, who knows. Either way though, he got burnted bad and got stomped on, then got a new body. We also met Mr. Matheus, Malthousious, um… Mr. M. I think they write up a lot of stuffs, not really sure, but they talked about it.
They want us to be the new council here, but I’m not smart enough. Maybe we should… Marla and Trist are smart enough and I’ll listen, pay attention, and… if I take turn 1 at a rate of A pressed nearly all the way down, tapping the wheel just a bit, then hitting B as I…
Dandy Ravage and myself are going to put us all in a Royale Rumble for Festivus Wrestivus!
• The group met The Helldrivers, lead by Petrol and including the Slaver they had previously met.
• Alpha Council told the PC’s where Elysium is. Doctor Life explained that he knows Jeremiah Antwood is still there, in a life support chamber as he is riddled with Rot.
• The group journeyed back to The Ark with 6 Nova Cultists who all follow Lord Christian now.
• Along the way they found Donny who had told Liberation Larry (roughly) where The Ark is. Liberation larry wants revenge for his home being burned down.
• Arriving at The Bridge The group asked about a midwife for the pregnant Nova Cultist (Abbetina) and they said an arrangement would be made.
• The group also met Frogger at The Bridge who is now running a trade caravan between The Bridge and The Ark. The Sam Skwatch keeps attacking though.
• Arriving at The Ark The group attended The Elder’s funeral.
• Marla and Trist then participated in the traditional Milk Dive, which seemed to heal some of their Rot.
• The group met the new and improved Mr. Canterbury and Speaker Malthusias.
• Mr. Canterbury and Speaker Malthusias appear to be keeping records while The group are away and have nominated The group as the new Ark Council.
• Macho Mutant Dandy Ravage has made plans with @UnknownsDM for The group to all take part in a Royale Rumble!
• Body Count of 4 (but they gained 6 Nova Cultists and Donny the Gecko Hunter)
• Lord Christian suffered a Severed Arm Artery (1 Day left): -1 Endure and Move (he has not rolled for how many days yet)
• Trist suffered a Damaged Shin (4 Days left): -1 Move and Sneak
• The Ark’s Culture was improved through donatingArtifacts to be pulled apart by Gearheads.