Session 5 – Dec. 22, 2022 @ 3:00 EST
We enter an area which leads to the gate to the goblin territory.
Mobrukk checks for traps and doesn’t find any. He enters the room.
There is lots of detritus from dirty people: stained walls, bits of pottery, rotting clothes, etc.
There are two directions here: left and right. We take the left path.
Everyone but Artimax hears the approach of a creature.
A goblin walks out and confronts us.
Tallon antagonizes the goblin by calling it filthy. So, the goblin shouts hue and cry then runs down another path. His shouts fade into the distance.
We continue on.
We hear noise like thudding to our right similar to Talon’s bow. There is a light coming from cracks or imperfections in the wall. It turns out to be the entrance to another area which we push open. The noise gets louder.
Mobrukk must make a dexterity save. He fails and an arrow hits his upper arm. He takes 2 points of damage.
He arms his crossbow and fires at a goblin across the room. He hits and kills it with 10 damage to the abdomen—piercing it through. He then arms his shield and scimitar.
Again, he checks for traps in the room before entering, but does poorly so he asks Artimax to check.
Without looking Artimax says he doesn’t see anything. So, Talon checks and finds no traps. We go in.
It is a target range with elf, dwarf, and human targets. Several goblins are here practicing.
Traps seem to be a constant threat in this dungeon. We have become paranoid at each step, fearing the floor will cave in, or something will take our heads off, or otherwise empale us. Richard can’t even get through a description of the room before we are calling for a trap check. And, so, there are 5 goblins in this room that we somehow didn’t see because we were looking for traps.
Mobrukk attacks, but misses a goblin.
The goblins retaliate, but also miss.
Talon hits with his bow for 8 and kills a goblin.
A goblin hits Talon.
Onyx hits one with an Eldritch Blast and hits for 5 points.
One hits Onyx.
Artimax scores big and kills the rest.
We come to a permanent goblin camp.
Amongst the things here, Mobrukk finds:
A Silver dwarven flask, 50gp
A Skeleton key
2gp
Tallon finds:
10gp
A Healing potion that heals for 10 hp
Onyx finds:
A Greater healing potion that heals for 20 hp
A Spell scroll for Arms of Hadar
Mobrukk asks Artimax to identify the liquid in the silver flask.
Artimax says that it’s dwarven so it’s probably liquor.
Mobrukk opens it to smell. It smells of potent vinegar. It is goblin wine.
Mobrukk says it might be useful as something to throw in the face of a goblin. Meepo misunderstands and thinks he means the flask itself. Meepo doesn’t want to see the treasure wasted. He leaps on Mobrukk’s leg begging and pleading for him to keep it.
There is also a locked wooden door here.
Mobrukk tries the skeleton key and it opens.
He checks for traps and cautiously tries to push it open with his boot, but it is very difficult to move due to the wood scraping across the floor like the wood has swollen or it is just poorly constructed.
Meepo continues to hassle Mobrukk about the flask. Mobrukk has to assure him he won’t. Finally, Meepo is satisfied and dismounts Mobrukk’s leg leaving a stain behind. He was very satisfied.
When we get into the room, there is an iron spike driven in to the middle of the room. Rusty iron chains are connected to it. The chains lead to collars around the necks of several Kobolds.
There is also a rusty cage at one end. In the cage is a badly tortured gnome. The cage is too small to fit even the gnome’s small stature and he is squeezed too tightly into it.
There are also some skeletons strewn about the room.
Mobrukk leans down to examine the cage. He talks gently to the gnome. He asks Artimax to examine the lock.
Artimax confirms it is a lock. He finally tries to open it after he’s had his smart-ass fun, but he is unsuccessful.
Talon suggests, rather unhelpfully, that Mobrukk might use the cum stain that Meepo left on his leg to lube the lock.
Artimax cast Fireblast on the lock and melts it.
Mobrukk helps the gnome out. We learn his name is Irky Timbers.
Artimax approaches and touches the gnome’s shoulder and cries out in pain while giving the gnome health.
Mobrukk releases the kobolds.
Artimax says he doesn’t think Irky is telling us everything. It is because Irky doesn’t trust us yet.
Talon ask Irky for info.
He tells us it was several months ago when he had taken to the road to search for treasure. He was attacked and captured by bandits. He believes it is the work of his deity that has kept him alive all this time.
Mobrukk asks who his deity is.
Irky says it is the deity of nasty beer.
Mobrukk ask Irky if he saw the wyrmling.
Irky looks confused. He doesn’t know.
The kobolds look at each other.
Mobrukk ask the kobolds. They do not answer.
They look at Meepo and continue to keep their silence.
Meepo says they are secret agents
Mobrukk asks if they want to join our search. Irky continues along with us, but the kobolds vanish at some point.
We continue on with Mobrukk in the lead. Talon strides close to him while Onyx stays in the rear to protect the softies.
We approach a door and Mobrukk tries to listen through it, but hears nothing. He tries the knob. It turns. He pushes it open with his shield but it doesn’t move. So, after we point out the obvious, he pulls it open instead.
We all step to the side because there’s a trap coming surely.
We poke around but see nothing of note.
Mobrukk checks for traps again.
We walk down a hallway.
Mobrukk fails his puma check and falls through the floor.
With aid, Mobrukk climes out of the hole, but he is badly hurt. Artimax heals the party members that need it for 5 hp.
Goblins emerge from around the corner. When they see us, they fire bows at us, but miss. We kill them: Talon kills one, Onyx and Mobrukk take out the other. Then a third one emerges.
It shoots Artimax for 8 damage.
Mobrukk checks the floor for traps then charges the goblin, but Talon ends up killing it.
On the corpses, Mobrukk finds:
5sp, 2cp
2 daggers
We take a short rest.
We come to 3 doors: one ahead and two to either side.
Mobrukk opens the door on the right. The room beyond spells of rotten food and sour awful.
Tallon opens the center door. There is a large firepit and it looks like a common area: meat hangs from hooks in the ceiling, there are tables, and some cooking pots. It smells like a place where food has been cooking.
Mobrukk opens the left door. From the gloom he hears grunting, groaning, slapping of flesh, and heavy breathing. It smells like leather and sweat. He has found a goblin orgy.
Inextricably, Mobrukk charges in weapons out and temper hot. Maybe he’s seen too much cum on and around him this adventure? Maybe sexual frustration? We know not.
There are 3 groups of goblins fucking.
Mobrukk runs through a pair with his spear, right through the ass of one and out the other. Mobrukk is a one-man, goblin pounding, army. He slices and dices. He cuts off the breast of one. Slashing and stabbing until only one is left.
The final goblin tells him they were healers, they fed orphans, anything to calm the brute. When Mobrukk turns to leave in embarrassment, the lone goblin tries to stab him. Now there are no more goblins in this room.
Total XP 200
Session end.